Come As You Are
by The Scarlett Ribbon
Summary: Howl thinks it must be some sort of strange cosmic joke that the only girl he ever falls in love with turns out to be a ninety year old woman with a touch of OCD and boundary issues.


It was May Day in the land of Ingary- and Howl Jenkins was thinking about a girl.

"You _should _be thinking about the Witch of the Waste's curse," Calcifer grumbled from the fire place. Michael, his apprentice, was alarmed.

"What curse?" He asked, dropping his plate and flinching as bacon and eggs rolled over the floor. Howl shot Calcifer an irritated look and neatly slithered out of answering by ducking into the bathroom. It was Michael's birthday, he thought, going through his beauty regime. He would do something nice, like set off fireworks to celebrate and Michael, who was a nice boy, but hopeless in a crisis, would conveniently forget about the mention of the curse. He picked up the packet labelled 'Eyes'. Howl was doing his best to forget about it too.

He emerged two hours later smelling strongly of hyacinths. Calcifer was still grumbling behind the grate- Michael was staring forlornly at the human skull on the work bench.

"Cheer up," Howl swept across the room in a blur of scalloped blue and silver sleeves. "Its your birthday isn't it? We'll take the day off to celebrate."

"Really?" It was so easy to make Michael happy, he reflected. Perhaps he had a sweetheart. Howl had had many sweethearts. The trouble was what happened when he didn't want them anymore. Still, it all added to his horrible reputation he supposed; he couldn't have the King thinking well of him after all.

Howl and Calcifer set off the fireworks as they left the castle for the town of Market Chipping. Michael wanted to go there- and Howl was curious, being that it was Lettie Hatter's home town. He hadn't been able to stop thinking of her since he'd met her at Upper Folding in search of Prince Justin. She was really quite lovely, he had decided and started spending longer and longer in the bathroom each day. He could picture himself falling in love with a girl like her.

"Off you go," he told his apprentice and Michael went. Howl blinked and he was gone. "Bother." he said. "He's picked up more than the magic I'm teaching him that's for certain."

It was a fine day in Market Chipping. Girls strolled in pairs waiting for boys to notice them. Men wore their best, but none, he noticed smugly, looked as fine as he himself did. Most of the Inn's were in the Square and Howl wanted a drink. He headed for the Inn that looked like it held the most promise and stopped short. A girl was running through the square alone, trying to push through the crowd. She was pretty, with lovely red gold hair, though the grey dress and shawl she wore didn't really suit her. She spotted him as he advanced towards her and shrank into the nearest shop doorway with the look of a cornered mouse. He looked at her in surprise.

"Its alright, you little grey mouse," he said, trying not to laugh. "I only wanted to buy you a drink. Don't look so scared."

A faint pink hue dusted the girls cheeks as she tried not to look him in the eye. Howl found this agreeable "Oh, no thank you, if you please, sir," she stammered. "I- I'm on my way to see my sister."

"Then by all means do so," he laughed again, oddly taken with her shyness. "Who am I to keep a pretty lady from her sister? Would you like me to go with you since you seem so scared?"

He meant it kindly, but she gasped and fled past him looking like she wanted the ground to swallow her up. "No. No thank you, sir!"

Howl watched her make her way through the crowd concerned- but when she reached Cesari's safely he felt a renewed desire for a drink. It was a shame that she was so shy, but a drink was a drink and it _was _May Day.

He had a glass of Ale in his hand and was rather amused by the townspeople's alarm at his castle. It was the fireworks that had done it; the sight of blue fire erupting from the chimney pots had upset them for some reason. Howl took the opportunity to blacken his name a little more.

"Oh yes," he announced, butting into the general conversation. "I heard that Wizard Howl is as wicked as they come. Utterly heartless. That's why he preys on young girls…"

"He's almost as bad as the Witch of the Waste!" Someone to his left piped up fearfully. "If we're not careful, he'll be terrorising the country in the same manner as she did yonder fifty years ago!"

How readily they blacken my name! He thought, as the rest of the bar joined in heartily. Perhaps Michael wasn't totally useless. He'd been hoping it might turn out that way. Sometime later Michael himself popped up at his elbow looking rather glum and slightly worse for wear. There was a smear of flour on his elbow. Howl _never _got flour on his clothes, but then, he actually dressed properly. Unlike some people.

"What are you doing here so soon?" Howl asked, surprised. "Not enjoying your day off?"

Michael shrugged. "It didn't pan out like I thought it would."

"Where is the gratitude?" He bought him a drink, feeling rather like an admirably cool older brother, rather than the irresponsible, totally unrespectable younger brother he was in real life. Poor Megan would always be jealous of him for that.

They finished their drinks and went home then, Michael marching along in silence, Howl keeping a rather sly eye out for the red headed girl he'd spoken to earlier, but there was no sign of her in the crowd, but then perhaps it was just too busy and he didn't notice her. The majority of the townspeople seemed to have convened in the Square to watch the fireworks going up from the field by the river where the Fair was. Howl was amused. His fireworks were so much better. He noticed his apprentice getting increasingly clumsy with his walking. Twice, Howl had to grab his arm to make sure he didn't topple over the side of the hill and end up falling down one of Market Chipping's chimney tops. It was a relief to finally get to the Castle, where his magnificently comfortable bed awaited.

"Help!" Calcifer was roaring the moment they stepped through the door. "You two went gallivanting _all day. _I'm down to my last log!" Michael stumbled over the work bench and landed on his face in his attempt to get to the log pile. Howl reached over and dropped three new logs into the grate wearing his most apologetic expression. "Sorry about that, you old ball of gas."

They listened to Michael groaning on the floor and Calcifer crackled with laughter. "You got him drunk," he pointed out. "What a waste of a day."

"Its my birthday," Michael protested, "And I'm only a little bit tipsy really. Its not Howl's fault."

"Go to bed," Howl replied, not even a little bit grateful for Michel's defence of him "You'd do best to sleep it off. I'll have a spell for you to do in the morning."

Michael staggered up the stairs, feeling the walls as he went. "You're a bad influence on him," Calcifer said looking pleased.

"Of course. I am shiningly dishonest and a rogue to boot." Howl replied and was rewarded with something that sounded suspiciously like a snort. He settled into the chair, fluffing the cushion with dignity. They proceeded to ignore each other, Calcifer thinking of the curse and Howl determinedly thinking of Lettie Hatter, before he fell asleep and woke up in the middle of the night with a crick in his neck. He retreated upstairs after that.

The next week passed in a blur- Howl avoided the King like the plague and went debated the pro's and con's of attempting to court Lettie Hatter. It wasn't a long debate, but that didn't matter. In eight days Howl would meet the love of his life.

He just never expected her to be an old woman.

**Authors note****: Really, who doesn't want to hear the tale of **_**Howls Moving Castle **_**from the wizard himself? I love Howl and Sophie together, they just bounce off each other in a way that I find hilarious. At least they do in the book. **

**As much as I enjoyed the movie, the love story is just not the same without the witty banter and sarcastic remarks. **


End file.
